Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Day 80 of my captivity

My warden with the red hair is too quick for me. I have made several escape attempts but she usually catches me. Even the pizza delivery person caught me! I must work on my moves and speed during my confinement. Enid is helping me out because she is my sister but she is so complacent. She doesn't mind being held captive. In fact I think she enjoys being pampered. I love my sister but she inherited the weirdness in the family.

The warden insists that I wear a stupid collar! I hate the collar and I take if off every chance I get. To make things simple I am going to list all the things that the warden DENIES me

  • freedom to roam outside
  • killing toilet paper rolls in the bathroom
  • all the glitter balls that can fit in my mouth
  • playing the beaded lampshade
  • nibbling on her ears
  • and I don't get nearly enough hugs and cuddle time
The human warden has been very busy lately with a huge project at work so I can get into more mischief!


  1. must plan your prison break better!

  2. Hester is getting so big. I love how those three dots on her shoulder are so pronounced.
    I don't think Hester minds the 'warden' too much since I happen to know that the 'warden' is a push-over. :)

  3. Oh Hester, as soon as you'd escape, you'd realize how good you have it at home and want right back in!

  4. Oh Hester,
    You remind me so much of Miss Henrietta Pussycat, my tabby and white kitty. Thanks to your warden with the red hair for sharing all of the photos of you. I adopted Henny-Penny when she was a grown up girl, so I feel like I am getting a glimpse into her kittenhood when I see pics of you!


  5. Perhaps Miss Hester dislikes the color of the dreaded collar? Can you negotiate a suitable enemy replacement for the TP? The glitter balls in the mouth are rather a festive idea. Why does the Warden dislike this? Did you ask the Warden to play laser tag with you so you can excercise your wings?

  6. Oh my poor little Hester. Life must be tough indeed, living with the Red Warden. Although, I have to tell you that the great outdoors isn't all that it's cracked up to's dirty and smelly and dangerous and it's so much nicer to be indoors with food and water and toys and think of your "prison" as a "luxury hotel" and think of "Red Warden" as your "Private Valet" who caters to your every need :)

  7. Time for the squirt bottle! Daddy says that kittens are like zombies, ya gotta shoot them in the head!!

    Daddy is not really mean, he just knows we ignore the squirt bottle if we can but that we won't ignore a headshot.

  8. Hester,

    Good luck! I have had similar frustrations in my captivity - I am now in my 9th year. The indignity of it all!

    I don't mind too much when the woman dives for me during an escape attempt, after all that's her job, however misguided she might be. But complete strangers?? The Chinese delivery guy was quicker than I gave him credit for. He snagged me with one hand while continuing to balance the delivery in the other.

    My fellow captives provide little help. All of them are extremely complacent, too. They do, however join me in protest over lack of cuddle time and unnecessary restriction on excercise aids. Like you, TP and PT rolls have been placed off limits, as have fabric blinds, all holiday ornaments, and the footrest of the leather recliner (a natural pommel horse).

    I can tell you that a successful escape is sooooo worth it. Mine was 2 years ago, this winter. My freedom lasted for 3 weeks. When I deigned to visit the woman again, I got lots of cuddles, treats and attention for a very long time. Of course that may have had something to do with the severe respiratory infection I had picked up. In any event, it was worth it, and I lunge for freedom every chance I get!

    Godspeed, Hester!
    Your compadre in captivity,

  9. While we appreciate a good romp outside (always on our leashes), we're both glad to be indoor kitties. Just think, Hester, if you get outside, it can be wet, dirty and there's lots of scary stuff. And.... there's no toilet paper to play with outside! Maybe inside life isn't so bad?

    Charlemagne and Tamar

  10. My Jack used to be an escape artist as well. He has since given up on the effort.


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