Saturday, November 7, 2009

Guilty or Innocent?

It all started as a typical morning where I am getting ready for work. Showers are a must in the morning for me not only to be clean and warm but also to wake up. While washing my hair I hear "zweeeee, fubbb, fubbb, fubbb. zweeeee, fubbbbbb, fubbbb, fubbbbbb." (If you are a cat owner you will know what that sound is.) I turn my head to see Enid (suspect #1) unrolling the roll of toilet paper while Hester (suspect #2) was trying burrow into the mound of mounting toilet paper. My response of "Ack! You stop that this instance! Roar!" caused a flurry of white furry creatures to flee the bathroom.

Since I cannot deal with the toilet paper until my shower is done, I got back down to business of finishing my shower. First of all the soap had to come out of my hair. It is a this time I had a feeling that something was not right in the world of the bathroom. Bad things were about to happen. I quickly turned to find Hester AKA suspect #2 with my towel in her mouth making a run for the great beyond (the living room).

There I am in the shower with my jaw hanging open, towel-less, a bathroom full of toilet paper, AND the curtains open in the living room. Dare I make a mad dash for the living room to get the towel from Suspect #2 with the chance of her thinking that I was playing with and flee with the towel in some unknown territory OR should I just get another towel from my dresser? EITHER way I am taking the toilet paper with me whether I want to or not.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, you need to decide the innocence or guilt of these two girls. Let me remind you wet toilet paper on any surface is not fun particularly the bottom of your feet. I leave you with images of Suspect #1 and Suspect #2. (P.S. I did not make this story up. It truly did happen.)


  1. As counsel for the Defendants I would like to enter a plea of not guilty to malicious mischief. The Defendants were innocently playing with the Plaintiff installed cat toy (aka toilet paper holder) when Plaintiff suddenly, and without provocation, began making very loud and scary noises in Defendants’ direction. The Defendants, thus being disoriented and frightened, looked for the closest source of comfort available. In a valiant act of bravery, Defendant #2 (heretofore known as Hester), brought a towel for her and Defendant #1 (heretofore known as Enid) to hide under until such time as Plaintiff's manner became less stress inducing. Said towel; being easily accessible, in their accustomed space, and without markings of prior ownership; was clearly useable by any person in the vicinity with need. So ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you can clearly see that the Defendants are being unfairly persecuted for innocent actions. The Defendants request extra gushy food and snuggles for the course of one week to make up for this grave injustice.

  2. We're with the author of comment # 2. Enid and Hester waz framed! They did nothing wrong according to us kitties,


    Gypsy & Tasha

  3. This is one hilarious post and is complimented by Talanea's brilliant defense.

  4. Oh, I know this is a true story. Noooooo doubt about that. I think I'd probably have to go with a guilty verdict and a suspended sentence for extreme prettiness.

  5. If the Plaintiff had left appropriate toys out during said shower, than the two hoodlums (oops, Defendants) would have still been guilty.
    I suggest the defense of "day light savings time" colliding with a full moon. Since my 2 Maine Coons have also been naughty. Or is it just "Naughty Cat Week"?

    In any case, what a great story!

  6. Innocent! Innocent, I say, Innocent! After reading RED's version of the events and Talanea's brilliant defense arguments, I have to say that the final verdict is that the girls are innocent and we all know that "the dog did it!"

  7. Dear Readers,

    You should be aware that Talanea is my best friend forever. She was laughing her head off when I told her this on the phone. In real life she is an EVIL woman who needs to be stopped. LOL. Love ya evil woman. Next time you are over I will make sure Enid chews on your toes!

  8. I'm not evil. Just ask your Mom. She always said I was the good one. :) And, I believe if you count the verdicts above the girls are innocent. They expect their restitution to commence immediately.


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